Steve and I have had a trip planned to Tucson for months, but now that it's here I have a host of emotions about leaving the Grands for the week. They have been doing okay - not great, not terrible - and they have a wide safety net of people to help. But that didn't change the initial anxiety in me about being so far away. What if something happens while we're gone? I bought the trip insurance, but still. What if?
Everyone told me we need to go, I need to get away for a few days and not have the responsibilities always on my shoulders. But how do I let them go? How can I let go of the sweet faces that greet me when I open their door and smile? How do I let go when I know that little things happen all the time - they need something, Grandpa fell out of his chair, Grandma forgot to use her walker again and stumbled.
But God is good, and He gave me a wonderful team of people to be there for the Grands while I'm gone. Nita, my second mother, is there to stay with Lliam, and as an RN with a lifetime of experience in nursing I can't think of anyone better. She's undoubtedly better than me at coaching the Grands through the problems that occur. Then there is the staff at Bickford. Amazing people, amazing care. I couldn't possibly ask for more.
The best part of the Grands' care team is that Grandma and Grandpa know it, too. They did not have an ounce of anxiety about me leaving. They are so comfortable at Bickford and so confident in the care they receive that they were just fine. Flashback to nine months ago when I left for a few days, and it's a very different story. Grandma was extremely anxious when I left. She marked when I was coming back on her calendar, asking again and again what was going on. But not this time. That is a thrill for me, because it indicates to me that she knows that she has the help she needs. She feels secure and loved right where she's at. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful!
So now I am sitting in sunny Arizona, the morning sun is already warm and inviting. My only responsibility now is to let go of the burden on my shoulders and relax. The Grands are going to be just fine while I'm gone.
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